Tunica overnite

TUNICA-- "You've got to 'know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em,'" this skinny drunk guy in a pink shirt and a Yamaha visor laughs, telling this white haired guy next to him at the Horseshoe's $4/8 table.

Poor white-haired guy. He's wearing this leather vest and some kind of long-sleeved shirt underneath and to a T he looks like the country singer.

But he must get this all the time.

"I'm told that about five times a day," White-hair says to the young guy, no hint of irritation in his voice. This guy is a saint.

"I saw you in concert earlier this year," another frat-boy looking guy to his white says.

I'm doing the overnite shift in Tunica, mainly because I'm hoping I'll be able to capitalize and bring myself closer to even.

Tunica overnite can be a pretty weird place. In what was like a scene from a Tarantino or Rodriguez movie (in which characters from one scene are seen in a separate one), the dealer at the Horseshoe table with the Kenny Rogers-look alike was playing against me about two hours later at a $3/6 table at the Gold Strike.

Boy, was he terrible. He must have run through a few hundred dollars just sitting there. Of course, it didn't help his variance that there was some grey-haired lady who turned into a maniac, straddling and raising every pot, like she was possessed. When she finally burned through her second buy-in, she was gone.

That was at about 4 a.m. At the same table was this older black guy who got really frustrated after I made a flush against him on the river. He started complaining that everything was fixed.

"I lost $1,500 seven months ago and now I've lost $300," he said to the dealer. "The dealers just deal to the regulars."

It was really strange. He was utterly convinced he was being set up.

Actually this whole trip so far has been surreal. The lady I beat with the flush-vs-straight earlier in the NL game was in her 50s and from Turkey. She sounded like Penelope Cruz. She got in this fight with this taxi driver from Conway, Ark. who called her "Zsa Zsa" as in Gabor. She called him a redneck.

And she wasn't shy about letting her feelings be known.

"Whheerre were you beeetches earlier?" she yells at two Queens on the flop.

She "takes care" of some young guys who want to eat at the buffet -- not by getting the poker room supervisor to cut them comps, but by giving them her in-hotel restaurant and shopping pass, which is like a paper version of a hotel credit card, so they can eat. And she gives them her drivers license just so the waitress knows it's legit.

This other guy at the table was like a Louisiana Jeff Foxworthy. It wasn't noticeable until he talked about it, but all five of his fingers on his right hand were amputated at the second knuckle.

The strangest thing that happened was around 5 a.m., when I pulled a 2-hour shift at Sam's Town's $3/6. This was the game that you dream about.

There was a guy who was like a younger (30s?) Sammy Farha, with the cigarettes, sunglasses and blazer. He kept straddling and raising every pot. He won a good bit and had about $600 in chips at one point. The locals would follow him in!

Each pot was 3-bet, 4-bet and capped at 5-bets preflop. I was hoping that I could just hit one pot and be way up. I'm not really even sure what the correct strategy is here. Same as for loose games? Small pairs and suited connectors versus unsuited big cards? There were so many people in each pot but it was also expensive to try those hands at 3- and 4-bets a pop.

Young Farha must have been a little drunk or out of it. I ordered a diet Coke and he told the waitress "I'll have the same," but when she brought him the soda, he was like "I didn't order that."

He also had a little bit of ego. He finally lost his last hand on the river and he got up and told this guy wearing an appliance company hat, "You got me at the river. We both know who's the best player, right?"

After he left the game was shorthanded and it seems like nobody really has the right experience. I was down nearly $100 from playing with the maniac and I finally got up to even. I should have left.

My next to last hand was JJ in the bb. I three-bet it, Appliance Guy raised (with AK) and this silent black guy called.

Flop is xJA, two hearts. I get it 3-bet on the flop. But the silent black guy makes his flush with 69s on the turn.

I say nothing.

It always amazes me now when people get upset being sucked out on. It's going to happen. The way I think now is if you get emotional about it, 1). You don't have enough experience in and 2). You don't have the bankroll to shrug it off.

I finally got back to the Gold Strike at 7 a.m. I'm down now about $75. But the Tunica overnite was one of the best gambling nights I've had, just for all the characters and the different slices of life.

You certainly can't get that (or see that) online.